What now?

When you find yourself liking someone so unlike you, it's so difficult to acknowledge yourself as someone she'd be remotely interested in. She's so different, so unique that you have a hard time describing her. Somehow, I can't shake her from my mind. Every time I try to move on, believing I can accept the reality of our situation, something happens to shake me up again.

It hurts so badly when you want to help a friend, but you have no idea how.

- 24 -

Descending into madness

So apparently, I've once again had to swallow my words and relive the unheeded warning of being careful of what I wish for. I made a promise to myself to be more social and get more involved this year, and I've really got it down. The only problem now is, I've got way too much stuff to do. I come back to my room every night so tired and exhausted, and I don't know when I'm going to have time to sit down and study, find a good job, or just reconnect with old friends.

It's overwhelming. Most of the things preoccupying my time are making me happy, so at least it's not wasted. Still, I'd like some time to just sit down and relax, (maybe) study, or just sleep away a few lazy hours. I must be insane.

On the other hand, APhiO has given me some of the most awesome friends ever, and I don't want to imagine how boring my life would be without them. Thanks guys, especially those with acronym-ic names, collectible gaming platforms, and tendencies to omit first names. :)

On a separate note, I need to stop going after girls I don't have much in common with/have any remote chance with. Awkward central is the bane of humanity.

- 24 -

Anyone watch the VP Debate?

Sarah Palin actually sounded better than everyone expected. That being said, everyone expected her to completely make a fool of herself, so I guess congrats to her for not royally screwing up.

What bothers me are the final impressions from the debate. Palin (and Fox News) talks so much about all the unfair media coverage, all that horrendous sexism that is supposedly biased against her. But in truth, she's dancing that dance all the time.

Think about it. If Sarah Palin were, say, John Palin, the reactions at the end of the debate from the media would've been incredibly harsh. She did not answer most of the questions, skirted back to reciting memorized lines from McCain's speeches, and hid behind her only area of expertise, energy policy. She made up false facts to back important points, and she tried to play up her folksy small-town image by using such phrases as "Doggone it!" and "Say it ain't so, Joe!" Is this what we need in the White House? As a common, middle class suburbanite, I couldn't seem to fit into this niche she so desperately tried to portray herself as a peer. It's not her language that bothers me; after all, that would be unfair for me to introduce my prejudice into my voting habits, right? What bothers me is her complete lack of sound, educated logic.

I mean, come on, I'm only an 18 year old minority college student. Yet somehow, I possess more knowledge about foreign policy than a VP candidate. I know I have to answer questions in a debate when I'm asked; I may have only been in Speech & Debate for one year, but I know complete bullshit only gets you so far.

Joe Biden. He's not the same breath of fresh air that Barack Obama is. He doesn't exactly inspire me to believe in change. But hell, he knows his stuff, and he knows it well. If the whole country descended into chaos tomorrow, I would trust his judgment to lead us. At the debate, he answered most of his questions, he was concise and clear, he brought solid evidence to the table to support his arguments, and he also provided substance to repudiate many of Palin's empty lines.

Yet at the end of the night, everyone was so concerned with one thing: Palin didn't fail. If by not failing they mean not stumbling as bad as she did in her previous interviews, then yes, she did not fail. But by any other reasonable standard, she bombed the debate. Did we learn anything substantial from that space underneath her perfectly-arranged coiffure, Tina Fey glasses, and small town smirk? No, we did not.

What infuriates me most (at the moment) is the way the GOP has handled its bid for the Oval Office. Several points I'd like to quickly throw out and address:

1. McCain, stop calling Palin and yourself "agents of change". No, to that assertion, I say FUCK YOU. This was a purely political move thrown out in an act of desperation to try to divert attention away from the fact that you've voted consistently with Bush's failed policies.

2. You both are also not "mavericks". McCain was a maverick, not is. He was a very respectable senator who set aside partisanship to push good reforms... until he decided to run for president. So stop it, it's really irritating to hear lies. The only lies I want to hear from the campaigns are their policy promises.

3. Republicans = small town Americana? Well, it is true many of their constituencies are from small towns in the South and the Midwest. But politicians in Washington playing to their small town cred? Please, spare me the humor. Your deals and connections with corporate businesses speak volumes about your "small town values", which is something that hasn't ever really been defined in a satisfactory manner. I've heard conservatives equate that phrase with morals, but that's just stupid. I'm not from a small town; does that make me immoral and a Sodomite? Not the last time I checked.

With that all said, I'm utterly sick of modern politics. It's still my favorite interest, but I fail to see much hope for a history of corruption, character assassinations, and illogical judgment.

Come November 4th, I'll be voting for the lesser of two evils.

- 24 -